Saturday, January 17, 2009

help! need parenting advice.

My very good friend Olivia needs some parenting advice.  Her almost step daughter is 11 and has sparked some much needed help in the parenting department.  

Check out her post, I bet any advice can be helpful!!

Thanks guys!


Anonymous said...

The most highly recommended, tried & true resource is the Jim Fay & Cline: Parenting Teens with Love and Logic. They have a "Teen Package' that also comes in CD, and is fairly reasonable for all that you get! She won't be sorry on this one! Ratings, teacher and parent feedback is excellent. Many schools have adopted the 'Love & Logic' philosophy and program for their schools. It teaches, responsibility, accountability & done with love, kindness & empathy.
mom oxox

Anonymous said...

Hi, I just read her post. Olivia is right on target, and doing a good job. Partial part time parenting sounds tough. I believe that she is doing the right things, esp. trying to get mom involved in helping her daughter pack. Olivia sounds like she is trying to teach responsibility, and of course can't buy new clothes every time she comes to their house.

There is a 'natural consequence' in all of this - and the key here is that even though she is only 11, she can learn to responsibly pack special things if she wants them bad enough, and especially knows that someone won't bail her out on the other end by rushing out & buying new things. Teaching responsibility is key, and in practice Olivia still can be be very 'sad, understanding, empathic etc.' on her end if the girl did not 'remember' to pack her special things. But, there can be 'back-up' clothing always availble if she 'forgets' waiting for her in her closet (and understanding that Olivia would not be running out and buying for her, which would unintentionally 'reward' her for 'not-remembering' her special clothing when she packs.)

Olivia sounds awesome, grounded & really seems to 'get it', especially for someone who has not had a great deal of experience in this area. She is doing the right thing, and if she helps continue to give the responsibility back to the ones that actually need to 'own them', then she may feel a little less 'bad, sad' when she has a plan in place, the girl knows what the limits are, and that ultimately it is up to her to responsibility remember for herself.

mom oxo

Shopaholic in rehab said...

Thanks for the link to my post, Weekend Parent.

I have received lots of positive feed back; looks like I'm heading in the right direction. Sometimes it just doesn't feel that way.

Once I figure out this link thing, I will return the favor!

Shopaholic in rehab said...

I hope you and Ryan never have to go through this; it truly is hard for all parties involved. Little S is blessed to have great parents like you guys!

Since my guy reads my blog now and has read all the comments, it has actually opened up some communication that we didn't have before. He has opened up to me about his resentment with L's mom; and honestly, I understand and would feel the same way.

It's nice to know I'm not the only one or I'm actually thinking in the right direction!

Thank you for caring about us!

Erin said...

we love you!

triselmore said...

I just posted a response to your friends site-I didn't mean for it to be harsh-but understand after stepping back and reading it that it may be translated as such. I was just trying to get out a lot if info. in a short amount of time and it sounded a bit rehearsed/textbook-ish.The fact that they care enough to try and find a solution to the issue means that they are far better parents than a great deal of parents out there.