Well, I have a couple of blog posts only partially done, I am hoping to finish them in the next few days! Our lives have taken a little bit of a sudden turn when I decided last week that I just cant live with our sleeping patterns anymore. Something has to change before I completely loose my mind. I am totally serious. Seriously. Totally. Totally and seriously. I am not kidding.
I had previously mentioned the fact that our daughter wakes up numerous times during the night to our pediatrician and she basically said 'thats what co-sleeping, breast fed babies do'. Great, thanks.
I also had been unable, until just recently, to connect with anyone I know who does both of these things. Anyone! Most families co-sleep and bottle feed or breast feed and allow baby to 'cry it out' or the so wonderfully coined 'self sooth' (by bawling their eyes out for you???). There are a few moms who state their dear babies slept through the night from the beginning. I wonder, are they taunting me? Kidding, but really? How is that possible.
Anyway, I just discovered this wonderful author, who happens to live in the super awesome state of Washington as well!, named Elizabeth Pantley. I actually left a comment on one of the greatest attachment-parenting type give away blogs;
Mama In Flip Flops2. I didn't win, but ordered the book anyway even before she drew names! I knew it was meant for me to read.
I knew it.
Elizabeth Pantley is a mother of four. She supports breast feeding and co-sleeping, as well as most of the american 'modernized' methods of child raising. She feels any variation of the 'cry it out' method is truly just not answering babys needs. Finally, someone who doesn't want to suffer but at the same time doesn't want their sweet child to suffer either.
I started to read monday, a difficult task these days with a toddler that wants everything I touch or look at! Oh, and her molars are coming through, I actually just discovered that this afternoon after she wouldn't stop screaming. I went to give her some of my
clove teething oil and reached back there and felt what I can only describe as a small marble pressing up through her gums. The poor sweet dear. Some of the 'magic numbing oil' and chamomile tablets quickly helped.
So, as I was saying. A few pages into the book and I was getting teary. I do blame this mostly on sleep deprivation! But, by the time I hit page 20, I was in a full on cry-it-out-cause-you-don't-know-what-else-to-do-session.
Here is what did it, actually its on page 11, a quote from one of Elizabeth Pantleys 'test' mothers;
''I am truly distressed, as the lack of sleep is starting to affect all aspects of my life. I feel as though I can't carry on an intelligent conversation. I am extremely disorganized and don't have the energy to even attempt reorganization. I love this child more than anything in the world, and I don't want to make her cry, but I'm near tears myself thinking about going to bed every night. Sometimes I think, 'what's the pint? I'll just be up in an hour anyway''..... ''
It really hit home for me. That could have been out of my mouth. If I were only coherent enough to state it so eloquently. No, instead I am spending my time loosing most things I put my hands on, putting the crackers in the freezer and being unable to finish sentences. Sleep deprivation does not sit well with me.
Last night we started step one in Elizabeths plan: the sleep log. Oh, how I dreaded writing down every waking moment AND how long she was up. It really wasn't that bad, I mean, hey, I was up anyway. :-)
Funny thing, when she woke me for the third time last night, at 5:30 am, I was actually peeved because we had gotten so much sleep! I wanted a 'bad' night of almost no sleep for our first log. I thought by doing so, our results would only get much, much better. After doing the math, I learned on our 'good night' the longest stretch of sleep we got was 3 1/2 hours. Not cool.
Step two was today: the nap log. I can sum that one up: a nightmare. With her current teething, and me allowing her to fall asleep nursing for the past 15 months, I have had a really tough time now getting her to sleep without her 'pacifier', if you know what I mean. After letting her doze in my lap for just over an hour I had to call it quits. Truthfully, I needed to run to the restroom. Breast feeding makes you thirsty, ect. ect..
I was able to pretty much finish the book while she was napping and was more prepared for step three, our nighttime routine. We had a very early dinner, an earlier bath, a much quieter and dimmer house, and now, an early bed time.
I am so afraid for step four, weaning her off the breast for sleep. Her teachings sound wonderfully gentle and still encourage answering babies cries in ways I am comfortable with, I am just really scared to have a horrible and long night.
This will be 100% of my focus for the next week or two.
Wish us luck. The good Lord knows we will need it.
